“Your sister’s an idiot,” is something I actually hear quite often from my mother.  The reason has changed over the years, going from Gwendolyn’s insistence on eating sand despite HATING the taste of sand as a baby, to running into traffic to prove cars would stop for her as a child, to being so proud of viewing stop signs as optional she blew through one in front of a cop.

Yes, it is a miracle my sister’s alive.

Most recently her idiocy involves our other sister, Susan.

Usually my sisters are best friends, but they go through bouts where they HATE each other.  Typically, this occurs when they realize they’ve stolen massive amounts of clothing from each other.

That’s when the texts start.

The last major event was caused by sunglasses.  Susan had a pair of really expensive sunglasses she’d worked all summer to buy.

Gwen stole the sunglasses and took them back with her to college.  Then posted photos of herself wearing them on her Instagram.  Which Susan follows.

Susan's perspective

Mom tried to talk to Gwen.  It didn’t exactly go well.

This went unresolved until Easter, when they came home for the holiday.  At first, things seemed to be going okay.  Gwen and Susan talked, laughed, and had fun with the family dogs.

Then they went upstairs to exchange hostages.  Cough.  I mean clothing.

Susan had taken good care of Gwen’s scarf and returned it in near perfect condition.  Gwen, on the other hand…

Miraculously, they weren’t ruined.  But then Gwen pulled out a pair of Susan’s shoes, Susan didn’t know Gwen had.




They were best friends again by the end of the week.